So...this is to be a return to the old ways. just for a moment.
*sigh*
here it goes:
random synapses fire. along the neon lines, riding the concrete jungle in a tangled mess somewhere between existence and inebriation. I live for this mess, this spangled rot tinted against my flesh, rotting corpse set to life by flame.
this passion released inside of me burns with hunger. satiation never comes, fulfillment never lingers. i am left with an ache, a gaping wound filled to the brim with starvation for more.
i have realized at this point that this will never cease. there is a certain portion of grey matter that wishes a vacation would fix this course of nature, these lonely nights wandering the lamp-lit halls in the darkest corners of this translucent shell. the other side is exactly that: the Otherside.
i am not ashamed of this behavior. running with my back towards the electrified spikes racing in the air, washed in the colors of the overhead rainbows. it brings me peace and comfort, life in the darkness that is the jockey's existence.
the Otherside, on the other hand, is searching. for a familiar face, some seedy underbelly of love and respect. devotion of some kind. anything to pull my face forward and stare down death, the very thing that was keeping me alive.
sometimes i see this face, random synapses firing in the right side of my already shattered cranial capacity. it's always bathed in the right light, guiding me towards whatever fate the slowly approaching fiber optic shards bring for me. it makes me stand up, stop running away, be a "real man".
othertimes, it makes me hurt. and that is why i keep running.
Okay. so...it's going to take a long while to explain that one. but boy did it feel good to get that out. I'm sure I'm going to sit here and promise you an explanation,
and it probably won't come. But I'm not going to say it, because you all know it.
So there.
God is great, life is good, kitty is amazing as ever. I love my wife. :)
That would be enough said for tonight.
I'm off to read new evangelion.
--fin.--
*sigh*
here it goes:
random synapses fire. along the neon lines, riding the concrete jungle in a tangled mess somewhere between existence and inebriation. I live for this mess, this spangled rot tinted against my flesh, rotting corpse set to life by flame.
this passion released inside of me burns with hunger. satiation never comes, fulfillment never lingers. i am left with an ache, a gaping wound filled to the brim with starvation for more.
i have realized at this point that this will never cease. there is a certain portion of grey matter that wishes a vacation would fix this course of nature, these lonely nights wandering the lamp-lit halls in the darkest corners of this translucent shell. the other side is exactly that: the Otherside.
i am not ashamed of this behavior. running with my back towards the electrified spikes racing in the air, washed in the colors of the overhead rainbows. it brings me peace and comfort, life in the darkness that is the jockey's existence.
the Otherside, on the other hand, is searching. for a familiar face, some seedy underbelly of love and respect. devotion of some kind. anything to pull my face forward and stare down death, the very thing that was keeping me alive.
sometimes i see this face, random synapses firing in the right side of my already shattered cranial capacity. it's always bathed in the right light, guiding me towards whatever fate the slowly approaching fiber optic shards bring for me. it makes me stand up, stop running away, be a "real man".
othertimes, it makes me hurt. and that is why i keep running.
Okay. so...it's going to take a long while to explain that one. but boy did it feel good to get that out. I'm sure I'm going to sit here and promise you an explanation,
and it probably won't come. But I'm not going to say it, because you all know it.
So there.
God is great, life is good, kitty is amazing as ever. I love my wife. :)
That would be enough said for tonight.
I'm off to read new evangelion.
--fin.--
posted by Edward | 25.11.08
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